Monthly Archives: April 2015

Marriage on Mondays | Kerensa Leigh

“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” ~ Elizabeth Browning

I remember being in high school and planning out how my life would play out. I would graduate high school, get married by 21 (of course he would be tall, handsom, have a great job…etc) have 4 beautiful children (two boys and two girls) In my mind life was going to be perfect:)Sunshine and rainbows…When you are young it all seems possible, and especially attending a private school the expectations to have it all together and have it at a young age were high.

So I wasn’t married at 21, which is probably good cuz I did a lot of growing up in my early twenties and I didn’t meet my husband till I was 21 and I can’t imagine my life without him. We also struggled to start our family, it took a year longer than we thought it would, and then we ended up having three beautiful boys and no girls…I am so happy and joyful with how my life has turned out and I have to tell my 17 year old self that dreams do come true, just not always the way we expect them to.

So I want to tell you that although true love is fantastic, it is not the end all be all. You must first find love in yourself before you can find love elsewhere. And once you do find love, buckle up and enjoy the ride:)It will be full of ups and downs, twists and turns, even a couple of loop-d-loops. But if you can find someone to hold on to you’d better do all you can to hang on tight!

xoxo

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Marriage on Mondays | kerensa leigh

Happy Monday:)

If you are in search of a “happy marriage” I have one clue for you on this weeks post for Marriage on Mondays…

Forgiveness!!!

It’s one of those things you’re supposed to learn as a young child when your siblings do you wrong. There should be apologies and forgiveness. It’s something we’re working on with our boys. Our eldest is a bit of a tormentor and takes great pleasure in teasing his brothers so there is a lot of tears…a lot of “I’m sorry’s”…followed by a decent amount of “I forgive yous” and I keep thinking that it should get easier for them but it definitely does not! And you know why? Because we are prideful in nature, it’s not easy to admit when you’re wrong and to forgive makes you feel vulnerable so I’m not sure what is harder, asking for forgiveness or giving it??

Within a marriage relationship it is so important to be able to forgive when your spouse has hurt you. Another aspect of forgiveness is the ability to not bring up this hurt again…if the apology is sincere so must your forgiveness be also. To throw these old hurts back at your spouse in a future fight does so much harm. So even if it takes everything in you, I want to encourage you to start to forgive each other. I’m sure you will find that your heart is lighter and your health and stress levels are improved if you can let go hurts and annoyances.

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Marriage on Mondays | Kerensa Leigh

Happy Easter Monday!!!

Today I’m going to be talking about how to think in Marriage…

The quote I’ve chosen is “The goal in Marriage is not think alike, but to think together.” – Robert C. Dodds

There is a famous saying that “opposites attract” which I tend to agree with. While it is great to have a few things in common, it’s also fun to challenge each other to try new things. I think it would get really boring to have someone who just agreed with me all the time. I want to be married to someone who can give me a new outlook on a situation. Get me thinking outside the box.
In looking back over the past decade with Adam, we have a lot in common but also there are things that I definitely have to push my self to do…I never grew up camping for an example…whereas this was a staple for Adam’s youth. So it has been a big obstacle for me to literally get out of my comfort zone to sleep outside in a tent. But it’s something I do (unless I’m pregnant) for my husband. Because it’s very important for him that his boys grow up with these memories and adventures, and they LOVE it!!! So there is a little part of me that has grown more fond of it as I watch them really getting into it.
I think it’s a must to agree on the fundamentals though, which in our relationship are:
– we agree on our Spiritual Beliefs (this one is HUGE for me as it filters down into the rest-it is a much bigger struggle IMO to be married to someone that you don’t agree with on this subject
– how to raise our children. This includes discipline, how we direct them, how we challenge them to be better people and how to contribute to society.
– where and how to spend our money (this is not always an easy one as Adam is the main bread winner and I am the main bill payer, but it is something that we talk about and can “think together” on)
– Another big one is that early on we decided that “divorce” was never going to be on the table for us. We have both seen how marriage can fail, love can end, and insults can fly so for us its not an option to give up on our relationship (this is not a judgement on those that choose divorce as I do not know the struggles everyone faces and I think there are definite reasons to not stay together, this is just a personal choice that we made to one another and God)

So I would love to encourage you to think together instead of alike. Remember you are two individuals within one union. You need to respect your spouse’s opinions and really “hear” where they are coming from as well as respectfully give your opinions:)

xoxo

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